Less Than 50 Days & Personal Ramblings

Ya indeed less than 50 days I'm giving birth soon. It going to be my 4th time labour, someone might say "aiya, you have experience". I still can remember my last labour pain that was about 16 hrs. My gynae said once the baby reaches 3kg plus, he wants to induce me. The reason he worries if I unable to deliver normal. Again, the choice is up to me to decide. At the moment, I want to go by step by step from the birth, confinement then looking back for my career. During my pregnancy I received calls from 3 companies broadcast lines asked me to go interviews. I have to reject them cos I'm pregnant. I don't think they able to wait till first week of July. Ini katakan rezeki anak dlm perut. Insya Allah doa & restu I dapat keje secepat mungkin. I don't feel the secure & things around me.

I hope & pray hard that my hubby able to change & cannot always depending on me. I'm just his wife & his duties are to take care of me & the children. I do fulfill my duties as wife. I don't say that our marriage is in the rock... Nope we are NOT... There's something he needs to change... Only him knows... I can't go further details. Hopefully things changes after my birth. I think this is my TERRIBLE tasks that I being thru. My parents said before...” You will feel 1 terrible task, I think u able to cope... is just to be patient is the answer”. Part & parcel of life??

5years of marriage having 4 children... serious that is very fast... can I run away?? escape of tasks?? Gosh!! help... I do envy those working mothers having more 5 children... or could be I'm tried of life...plus recently I got retrenchment & I'm pregnant 4 child.. No perm jobs are able to employ me... I did cut down things BUT my hubby unable to support me... I can't explain much...